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a dirty little secret, and a rant…

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first, the secret: I eat eggs. Not all the time, but there’s just something about a morning egg that starts my day off well. I can’t see telling myself “NO! You can’t have ’em!!” because I’ve found in the past, the one sure-fire way to make me do something is to tell me I can’t do it.
So far I’ve given up dairy. I’ve given up coffee (without milk, that was an easy one to do). Cheese and sour cream were hard– sour cream is, like, the Hungarian version of… like… an apple a day or something? So I’m pretty sure sour cream runs through my veins along with red wine (which I’ve tapered down to minimal amounts, only b/c organic wine isn’t that yummy and regular red makes me wheeze). I’ve discovered, thanks to veganomicon, that soft tofu can be food-processed down to some reasonable facsimile of sour cream, and if you season it with fabulousness like horseradish and dill, it’s even better!! I’ve not yet found a cheese replacement. To be honest, I don’t want to try. I feel like, when I want cheese, I’ll get something good, rich and smelly and savor it and the next-day wheeze. That’s where that whole “haphazard” element to my way of eating comes in. I don’t want to become a food zealot, setting up all kinds of barriers and divides; instead I want to strive for better health and moderation.
I’m the kind of person who will find a pleasure– say, a glass of wine– which becomes a compulsion– mmmm, I think I’ll just finish the bottle!!– that then becomes a habit –lemme just buy seven of these bottles, one for each day of the week! – As soon as the habit sets in, the pleasure becomes less pleasurable because it’s an auto-drive thing.
So with my eggs, (and now, red wine) I strive to drive the habit back to its pleasurable place.
And this morning, as I ate my scrambled eggs (mostly prepared so Kid would have a good, protein-heavy breakfast before undertaking state-wide testing at school) I lovingly bedded them on a mound of grated carrots, grated beets, and radish sprouts, and liberally doused them with that aforementioned horseradish tofu sauce. I ate that loveliness with a piece of bread and cup of chai tea and soy milk (accidentally bought soy dream instead of rice dream).
and it was good.

And so now to shift gears. I have a major project due today and I’m procrastinating. Part of my procrastination process is to find things all around me that annoy me, and so need to be done. Well, today I will try an experiment: I will rant about the things that are driving me ape shit, and once I’ve ranted, I can leave those little messes behind and focus on my “real” work (assessment interpretation, oh joy!) –here goes:

The List of Things Driving me Apeshit Today:

-full trashcan in kitchen (come on, people, is emptying that so hard?)
-full hamper in bedroom, to include wet towels that will likely get everything in said hamper musty-smelling.(arrrrrrgh)
-tabletop #1 covered in school papers, pencils, science experiments, bags, and random toys
-tabletop #2 covered in erector set detritus
-living room floor littered with fluff from the dogs’ girlfriend (a blanket we have named, simply, “bitch”)
-entry/foyer filled with shoes, dog food bag scraps, and old mail (fortunately the latter is contained)
-dishwasher filled with unrinsed dishes (do we not realize, dear family, that the food gunge will simply be baked onto dishes, necessitating a full soak/scrub by hand before a second dishwasher-washing?)
-empty drink can and pouch boxes in cart where full drink boxes should be.
-kid shoes in weird places
-kid bed needing to be changed and made
-laundry, lots of laundry.
-toothpaste funk in kid’s bathroom sink
-kid clothes strewn on many floors
-dog toys mixed in with strewn kid clothes.

I’ll leave it at that. I could rant longer, but I really do need to write this paper and do the rest of the work this assessment interpretation and administration analysis requires… (arrrrgh.)


About jcbetty

I am a Tacoma-dwelling community- and friendship-thriving, occasionally crafting, infrequently exercising woman of indeterminate age. I coexist with my teenaged daughter (whom I share with her father, not in the same house) and doggos Poppy and Jackson.

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